When a meal tastes good, don't mess with the recipe.
That's why I like Karate Kid.The storyline is the same. Take a kid, a bully, an obscure dude that can actually kick ass, make them interact through an unlikely training program, break the kid's leg and finish the bully with a snake move (actually crane, but, hey, snake and crane go well together).
There, actually, the movie adds some salt by putting the said kid in China. We get a glimpse of the scary training kids get in these parts of the globe, and the feeling of not belonging experienced by Dre is pretty well rendered.
In short, it's the same movie in a different context. There nothing new, but it's refreshing. And you get to see Beijing.
Now Prince Of Persia.I'm a fan of the game. Not that I have much time to play it, but I love it. It's the best platformer around.
If you don't know yet, PoP has revolutionized the world of video games when the first opus came out.
The game is all about acrobatics and wicked 5 vs 1 fights against sand monsters, a scimitar in one hand and the sand dagger as a "main gauche".
The Prince volts around, rolls on the ground, flips over his opponents and bounces against the walls.
Spectacular.
Now, the plot is is twisted. The Prince likes the Vizier's niece, the Vizier's a wicked warlock, who screws pretty bad with the fabric of time.
Result: Prince and Princess fight together to bring back time normal. It ends in an epic rewind, where they haven't done anything together, at all, and the only thing the Prince can do to remind the Princess is remind her of her secret childhood password: Kakulukian.
It does remotely resemble the movie's plot. Remotely.
But where are the epic fights, the sand monsters (the real ones, the legions, not the pathetic Persian remake of Inspector Gadget), the 'run on the wall, jump, swing around a pole while beheading evil fiends' ?
Nowhere. So much wasted potential makes me cry.
References are good, recycling is bad
As said earlier, Karate Kid kept all the right references to keep the storyline consistent. That's the least the movie could do. But it did more: adding some real background, building some real atmosphere. You hear people speaking mandarin, and no, no subtitles thanks. You're as lost as Dre and you wonder all the same what in the world they mean by *some funny monosyllabic noises*.
Babylon? COME ON!
Tantrum time. This movie has nothing to do with Aladdin! Stop throwing apples and making benevolent thieves appear out of nowhere.
Seriously, the next thing I was expecting while watching the movie is a bloody flying carpet, powered by a (I'll say it) BLUE DJINN (I said it).
And what about the beautiful Persian language? When is it heard?
That's what I mean, you don't just take some bits and kludge them together, you have to build around it, and PoP just doesn't.
Don't improvise Karate kid does it, a minimum, to keep the storyline believable. The mountain village is a bit overdone to my taste. But it correspond to another magical place in the original movie.
PoP does it all the time.
Most frustrating points:
The Princess' name. For Enlil's sake, her name is FARAH! Not Tabitanitavinalina or whatever. The only other female character in the game is called Kayleena, and that's still pretty far from Tibitinatitalita or whatever.
The button on the dagger. Now COME ON, we know, there are no blue prints for the damned knife. But a button? Does it also send text messages or does it need a plug in? Most importantly, can I go fish with it if I bring my own sinker?
What about the spiritual binding between the dagger and the bearer, wouldn't it be enough? And spare the cost for a button?
The Prince's siblings. Oh, now, there's the happy family yes? The prince is a loner. When he escaped from his first adventure, the first thing he does is, out of despair from losing Farah, go to the Island Of Time, and face the tentacle-heavy-shadow-Minotaur (you'd expect it in a Japanese shonen, but there it is) called the Dahaka, and go as far as free the Empress Of Time herself. Just. Because. He's. Pissed.
No brotherly love here.
Then another thing KK does well and PoP screws like never: the fighting.
KK did actually cast kids who COULD fight.
PoP, not so much. "Ok take a scary stance, try punching while looking as Persian as you can and the steady cam will make them forget you can't do jack." Yeah. Main gauche.
12 years-old and blood sports are not compatibleThere, PoP actually stops at apple throwing.
Karate Kid, though, drives such a high amount of violence through mere kids it almost becomes pornographic.
The movie Kick Ass did trigger the same feeling of disgusts.
Kids and violence should never match for our entertainment. They should actually never match at all. Ever.
In conclusion, PoP sucked like the eye of a sandstorm, full with out of nowhere plot elements and mismatched ambiance. Karata kid did much better, much better, but I'm still grinding my theeth at the idea that kids are fighting on screen just to amuse us.
Posted via email from Walking down the dragon's back